“So it was a weird and awkward beginning for Gemma and I when we first met. Both very different people from very different upbringings our story is one which would fit into an average Hollywood storyline, but we didn’t know it at the time. The whole story would contain all the drama, contention, plot turns and pivots, as well as a whole lot of suspense and a touch of the supernatural that would perhaps get your girlfriend to the next blockbuster starring Zack Effron and some blonde starlette.
I suppose it’s no story killer if I tell you that from these awkward beginnings we are now 6 years happily married with three beautiful babies, Evelyn aged 4, Christian aged 3 and Elliott aged 1. But obviously we didn’t start there. Our very first encounter was at a bible study in East St Kilda.
Gemma, who had recently completed two years serving in an AIDS orphanage in Thailand had decided that her new venture in sales in her home town of Brisbane was decidedly unfruitful and so turned her eyes to Melbourne, where her father had recently moved to access the local manufacturing industry.
I, having recently split from a rather nasty and negative relationship, all of which was my fault by the way, had begun re-attending church services after a year or so sabbatical and did so by applying all my religious fervour that I once had as a devoted teenager.
This unofficial encounter was coincidentally the first bible study in quite some time for both Gemma and I. It is in this context that a lot of first impressions were made, shifted, sifted and adjusted in both parties. What follows is an account mostly about me, my impressions and my understanding of the evening and what followed.
And so to set the stage; a small two bedroom apartment in East St Kilda filled with twenty or so almost entirely single, barely, twenty something’s. Perhaps not obvious to every reader is that this is far more of a social occasion then a pious or solemn one and so the first thirty minutes are specifically focused on making sure that everyone was accounted for. I think in this time I may have introduced myself to Gemma, but I cannot specifically recall. This was my very first social outing in a church setting for some time, and so, almost everyone I met that night I was meeting for the first time. I’m sure Gemma would say similarly.
After some tea and coffee was self-served, some nibbles put on the coffee table and a block of chocolate passed around the circle, the evening was underway. I cannot comment on the topic of discussion specifically, but I do remember my reaction to the conversation. Having had a rather strict and disciplined upbringing as a Pentecostal Christian, a conversion which happened in my mid-teen years, I was decidedly shocked to hear an uneducated and unreferenced discussion about such things as “feelings”, and “opinions”. At the time this did not fit into my strict and overly religious viewpoint, and I had no hesitation in communicating that at the time.
Gemma, who had an entirely different Christian perspective and upbringing to that of my own, was as shocked and offended as the rest of my new-found “friends” were. As a result of my “loving correction”, I had made an impression that night. One of an upstart, know it all, overly confident, assertive Christian fundamentalist authoritarian. And I think most people left that event that night with a pretty accurate assessment of who I was, at that time, including my future bride.
From my point of view the evening was pretty successful, but I know now that I hadn’t made as many friends as I had thought, and that people did not think as highly of me as I thought of myself.
In the near future I did little to correct people’s first impressions of me, in fact I’m pretty sure I cemented it in good and proper.
This was our first meeting and, I’m sure, it’s only because she is now my wife that I even recall that evening. At the time I had no idea that Gemma would turn out to be the most important person I would ever meet in my life.
In the coming years, I begun to allow myself to mature, especially towards myself, my parents, my upbringing and my previous lifestyle choices, and this process caused me to “mellow”. I had more time and understanding for different, broken, needy people because, I suppose, I began to see that I was that type of person myself. This process took years, and Gemma and I slowly built a stronger and stronger friendship up until this very day. I can honestly say that I could not envision my life without her by my side. She is my best friend, my most loyal confidant, my beautiful lover and the bride of my youth. She is my “Proverbs chapter 31” woman and I would die for her in a heartbeat. I am grateful to God every day for the wonderful gift she is to me and to the world.
There’s a truck load more to the story, but this is where it first began, in a small apartment in East St Kilda.”
How You First Met 